1892: A twenty three year old Emma Goldman, along with
her lover and lifetime companion Alexander Berkman,
planned the assassination of Henry Frick, an
anti-unionist factory manager. They believed this
attempt would inspire the “oppressed masses” to revolt
against the capitalist system. The attempt failed, and
the pair was turned against by friend and foe alike.
Berkman went to jail (sentenced to twenty plus years),
and although no evidence was found against Goldman, she
was evicted from her home. Friendless, homeless, and
ostracized by most fellow anarchists, she still held
tightly onto her beliefs.
2008: At
twenty-three, I rarely do anything that I think will
change the status quo. My bursts of activist sentiment
aren’t strong enough for me to risk my way of life. I
have beliefs, yes, and I will defend them. Up to a
point. The rights of the ‘oppressed masses’ are all good
and well, but honestly, what can I do to make a
difference? I have my family to think of, I don’t want
their perception of me to change. I like for people to
like me, and if that means keeping my mouth shut about
what I think every once in a while, then so be it.
1893: A year
later, after giving a speech urging the unemployed to
take direct action to help themselves instead of merely
relying on charity and government aid, Goldman was
arrested and brought up on charges of ‘inciting to
riot’. She was sentenced to a year in jail. There she
began studying medicine, and reading books on activism
and philosophy. After her release, she travelled to
Europe to pursue a degree in midwifery while touring the
continent giving lectures and meeting with other
anarchists.
2008: Like a
little child, I fear getting into trouble. I need
everything in my life to be nice and neat, everything to
be laid out and planned and known. Every time I screw
up, every time my life doesn’t go according to plan, I
act like it’s the end of the world. I’m uncomfortable
with change. When I stumble, I don’t keep going; I fall
and bewail my fate. I stop and whine about how hard
everything is and I cannot imagine how in the world I
can move on from this failure.
1901: After her
return, despite arrest and persecution from the
government, she forged on. After refusing to condemn the
man who had made an attempt on President McKinley’s
life, Emma faced criticism from all sides. Due to
refusing to back down, she was showered with scorn.
Deciding to try life away from the spotlight, she spent
some time as a private nurse working under a pseudonym.
2008: I like to
think of myself as a pragmatist, always taking the path
of least conflict. Refusing to yield always leads to
more arguing and yelling, and I hate all that pressure.
Taking the easier paths makes everyone so much happier,
myself included. So what if I don’t really agree with
them? So what if I have to crush my ideals a little?
Standing up for your beliefs is all good and well in
theory, but I much prefer the comfort of my warm bed and
loving family to the comfort of my shining ideals.
What’s a little crushed spirit to that?
1906: Emma Goldman
was made for much grander pursuits than nursing;
eventually she was drawn back to activism. She
eventually started an anarchist magazine called “Mother
Earth”, which she edited for on and off, and often wrote
for. The magazine covered many issues including women's
emancipation, sexual freedom, and women’s right to birth
control. She spent some time advocating for the right of
access to birth control. She worked closely with Margret
Sanger. Goldman believed wholly in people’s right to
choose whom to love, unlike Sanger who despite being a
pioneer in the movement to allow women to choose if and
when to have children believed that birth control was a
way to reduce the negative side effects of sex, and not
a way to achieve sexual freedom.
My desire to avoid
conflict often leaves me feeling impotent. I couldn’t
even force a debate in my ethics class over the morality
of abortion. Now, I may not agree with abortion, but
oddly enough that only frees me to fight to protect a
woman’s right to make that choice for herself. So when
my professor brings abortion up as an example of
something that is legal but not moral, I have no qualms
in questioning where the immoral part comes from, and
pointing out that just because one person considers an
act immoral does not necessarily make it so. Of course,
the professor waves that away and moves along to other
topics, and since I am the only one forcing the point, I
let it go. Pragmatism.
During the First
World War, Goldman worked fervently against
conscription. Opposed to the war, she dove headlong into
anti-draft activism. This was the final straw in the
American government’s eyes, and after two years’
incarceration she was finally exiled from the country
that she had immigrated to over 33 years ago. She spent
the rest of her life living in different European
cities, campaigning for anarchism as well as human and
civil rights.
Even though I make
noises about leaving my own country and heading
somewhere with more freedom, I cannot fathom leaving my
life for anything else. The unknown is too terrifying a
prospect for me; to leave the life I know, no matter who
unhappy it makes me, is inconceivable. To eke out a new
existence over and over again is to me beyond
comprehension. No, better to be content with living the
life I’ve been given.
Emma Goldman was a
woman always ahead of her time. She was always a
defender of freedom, freedom to speak, freedom to love,
freedom to enjoy life. Magnus Hirschfeld, one of the
earliest gay rights activists wrote of her, "she was the
first and only woman, indeed the first and only
American, to take up the defense of homosexual love
before the general public."
I’m gay in 2008,
and my first instinct when the LGBT community is brought
up is to feign homophobia. Debates with strangers on gay
rights make me feel exposed and vulnerable, and I hate
that. Better to fake hatred for my people than to lose
the liking and respect of people I don’t even care
about. Because, my god, what if they find out? So no,
I’m nothing like Emma Goldman, who remains a vanguard
for the cause of standing up for one’s beliefs. Emma
Goldman, who stayed true to herself through everything.
I do however, hope to one day be even a little bit like
Emma Goldman. |
